Enough already

I'm stuck in the house while two guys dig up the back yard - some project that Alpha and Beta are paying too many bones for. Since Alpha's out back playing "sidewalk superintendent," I've had time to check some things I don't ordinarily have or take time for.

As I browsed my stats, I realized that people show up here looking for "artesian bread." The entire point of the original post was that THERE'S NO SUCH THING!!! Of course, I probably buried that point in my obfustactory prose, but still, ARTESIAN BREAD DOES NOT EXIST!!!! You're not out there searching for unicorns, are you?

Artisan bread exists. It's real. It's bread made by artisans, people who practice a trade at the level of art. Under the medieval guild laws, one had to create a masterpiece to advance to the rank of artisan, so what we're talking about with artisan bread is REALLY DAMNED GOOD BREAD.

I will, of course, continue to argue that "artisan" is a noun, and therefor can't describe anything - that the term should properly be "artisanal bread." But I won't let my willingness to continue that argument distract me from my just-generally-pissed-off state that humans don't recognize what this mere dog does: there's a difference between the two words "artesian" and "artisan." Notice how the vowels are different? See it? As in "e" is not the same as "i" and "ia" is not the same as "a"? Why do you suppose that is? Could it maybe be because the two words are not identical in either orthography or definition?

Here you go:

artesian

adj : (of water) rising to the surface under internal hydrostatic pressure; "an artesian well"; "artesian pressure" [syn: flowing] [ant: subartesian]

artesian. (n.d.). WordNet® 2.0. Retrieved November 10, 2006, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/artesian

artisan

n : a skilled worker who practices some trade or handicraft [syn: craftsman, journeyman, artificer]

artisan. (n.d.). WordNet® 2.0. Retrieved November 10, 2006, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/artisan


Now. Can any of you help me with a definition of "overkill"?

Black Thursday

Yeah, OK, we had a Blue Tuesday. Whether that plays out as good or bad depends in large part on the people elected and their perception of their mission(s). Frankly, right this moment, politics is not high on my list of priorities.

Neither are squirrels. Or Greenies. Or beer. Even micro-brews.

Ankle-Biter didn't make it. The congestive heart failure which slowed him for so long finally won, and he won't wake up anymore in this life. Family and friends, both canine and human, await him on the other side, though, so we take some small comfort in that.

I want to thank him for what he did to welcome me to the family all those years ago. Even blind in one eye as he was, he taught me to retrieve sticks, to bark at doorbells (even on TV, and even when we didn't actually have one in the house), and to ride calmly in the car. And oh, so many more things...

In his memory, I'll remind you of this.

God's speed, little fella.

Damned squirrels

I took a break just now from chasing the long-tailed, four-legged, fence-runnin', tree-climbin', pecan-thievin' squirrel in the back yard, and I settled in to peruse the newspaper from up north. Getting the paper on the internet is better than getting it on the driveway, as this way it never turns into Ankle-Biter's bathroom.

Anyway, I came across this: Squirrel attacks mail carrier.

So you see, when I'm out there wearing a path between the trees and jumping nearly as high as the fence, and racing back and forth, and even barking occasionally, and just generally raising Cain, I'm not doing it to annoy anyone. I'm actually performing a public service; that squirrel had time to bite that nice lady because there was no dog chasing it.

That said, I guess I better get back to work, protecting the citizens of this fine town from those vicious terrorists. Let your dogs out to do likewise :)