Wireless (in)conveniences

So I get to go back to my rambling whine about all the wireless appliances around here.

The first thing that Alpha put in was the wireless phones that we've had ever since we moved off the mountain and actually got close enough to civilization to have a land-line-based phone. They're handy, in that he and Beta can wander around while they talk to folks. They can fill the food dish or the water dish without missing a conversational beat.

Of course, as soon as the satellite guy got done, the TV, the DVD player, the DVR, and the surround sound were hooked up. Each has it's own wireless remote. I don't have to get off Alpha's lap while he changes stations or anything, so that's cool.

Then came a wireless router. That way he and Beta and I can all be on-line at the same time without his having to string CAT V cable all over the house and the back forty too. We all see it as a major convenience. I especially see it as a plus, since I can take the laptop out into the backyard, and keep an eye on the squirrel while I blog. Gonna get him one day, I am.

Finally came the first in a series of ceiling fans, starting with a couple out on the covered patio. I understand having the fans out there, as Texas summers can get on the stick-to-yourself side of 100 degrees, and even a whisper of moving air can help a great deal. And the wireless remote means you don't have to pause mid-sentence to reach for a pull-chain. Sweet.

I was with Alpha at the hardware store when he bought the temperature-controlled wireless remote for the ceiling fan in the living room, and saw the look on the clerk's face that said, "that's gotta be the epitome of laziness." I just shrugged my shoulders. It's not my debit card.

So far, lots of convenience, right? You knew I'd tie all this to the title, though, right?

Something in this whole system of wireless appliances actually triggers one of the outdoor fans. I won't say I've paid a ton of attention to it, but it doesn't seem to be the television or any of its peripherals. It might be the phone, but certainly not every time it rings. It MIGHT be the wireless router, except that the light or the fan will sometimes come on when nothing has changed on the router. Maybe, though (and this has ranked as a top possibility in Alpha's mind for a while), what it is is that anytime the furnace or air conditioner kick in or out, it triggers a random button on the fan remote.

We may have gotten another clue yesterday: Alpha had an electrician come over (and I know him from somewhere - he's Beta's step-brother or something) to upgrade the service panel from 100 amp to 150 amp. And when he finished the install and was running through labeling the breakers, and flipping some of them on and off in the process, that porch fan or its light was going nuts. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off.

So the final theory is that Alpha has to take the fans back apart far enough to take them down, and change the frequency at which the remote operates, because whenever ANY major appliance turns on OR turns off, there's a CHANCE that it will trigger the patio fan.

What a deal.