Blame the squirrels

If I remember correctly, it was Linus (of Peanuts fame) who observed first that leaves do not fall from trees: they jump to escape squirrels. My observations (strenuous and extensive - I spend many hours daily surveilling the back yard) confirm that hypothesis. So those of you with bare trees can blame the squirrels.

To that, however, I'd like to add a corollary: the wind howls because it has no friends to play with. I have observed that a 30-mph wind in the summer, when the trees are clad with leaves in all those marvelous shades of green, that sweet wind we hear, whispers, rustles and rattles, but never a howl. That is, quite simply, because the wind has friends to dance with, to play with, to make music with. It has no reason to whine, or to howl, or to scream.

Then, though, comes the fall. Then comes the season of squirrels racing limb to limb, frightened themselves of approaching winter perhaps, but scaring the leaves into losing color and jumping from their secure perches, into leaving those gentle breezes with no playmates, and the gentle breeze becomes an angry wind, howling and screaming, and doing its best to squeeze in through crevices, all in search of dance partners.

So there you have it. Squirrels are the culprits. Hunt them down. Send them to me. I will chastise them.