Friday, February 24, 2006

Does your dog do this?

A butcher works his busy shop, and out of the corner of his eye notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away. Some minutes (and several customers) later, he notices the dog has returned.

This time, as he prepares to chase the dog from the shop, he notices the dog has a scrap of paper in his mouth. He takes the paper, and on it is a note which reads "Can I have a dozen bratwurst and a small beef tenderloin, please. The dog has the cash in his mouth."

The butcher looks in the dog's mouth, and sure enough, there is a twenty-dollar bill there. So he takes the money, puts the sausages and beef in a bag, and lets the dog take it in his jaws.

The butcher is, to say the least, impressed, and since it's close to time to shut down anyway, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog.

The dog lopes down the street, then arrives at a streetlight. He puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the "Walk" button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the light to turn green. It does, and he walks across the road, with the butcher close behind.

The dog comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the schedule. The butcher, at this point, is flabbergasted. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on one of the sidewalk benches. Along comes a bus. The dog walks around the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his bench. Another bus comes. This time, the dog goes and looks at the number, sees it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now carrying his jaw in his hand, follows him onto the bus.

The bus travels through town and out into the suburbs; the dog stares vacant-eyed at the scenery. Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on his hind legs and pulls the cord to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth.

Butcher follows dog down the street and around a corner, and then the dog turns in to a yard. He walks up the sidewalk, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back, takes a run, and throws himself -Ka-Thump!- against the door. He goes back down the sidewalk, runs at the door and -Ka-Thump!- throws himself against it again. No one answers.

The dog goes back down the sidewalk again and circles toward the side yard. He jumps up on the fence, and walks along the perimeter of the yard. He gets close to what is apparently the kichen window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts cussing the dog. He yells. He swears. He questions the dog's ancestry.

The butcher runs up and interrupts the guy. "What the heck are you doing? That dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for heaven's sake!"

"Genius? My grandmom's backside! This is the second time in a week that he's forgotten his key."

Dog obviously never got schooled in my house...

And yeah, check out those pretty flags right below. You want Spanish? I got Spanish. You want French? I got it. Nine flags, nine languages. Eat your human hearts out!

Français/French Deutsch/German Italiano/Italian Português/Portuguese Español/Spanish 日本語/Japanese 한국어/Korean 中文(简体)/Chinese Simplified Tagalog/Filipino


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